Fuck Politeness

Ok, so Wendy Frew’s article is not the *whole* story (and how can it be there’s just so VERY much wrong with Arndt et al and their *Knees Bitch* approach to marital harmony) of the injustices of ‘women are selfish sexless cows who won’t service the men who own them 24-7’ articles rattling around the traps.

But it *is* quite excellent. I know that immediately the Doodly Brotherhood of Chick Haters will be pouting and stomping at this damned upstart daring to turn the tables of patriarchy to apply high maintenance standards of appearance and attractiveness back on Teh Menz. *Oh so PETTY and SHALLOW*they will say fervently ignoring the Great Shared Manly Ladder of Boneability in which they participate each and every day, and to which women are subjected every day by the doodly ranking of each and every chick  on their *hotness* or *notness* (ie, small, thin, young enough to be highly questionable if not strictly illegal is all that counts for *hot*).

But you know what? We *DO* deal with this shit EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. We’ve heard it from friends, aquaintances, bosses and family. It screams at us from every glamourfied billboard. *YOU ARE NOT HOT ENOUGH*. Every self help chick mag article, every ad, movie, tv show, op ed piece in which men hatefully scream we’re ugly demented prostitutes and should be treated as such beats us around the head with “EXERCISE. SURGERY. STARVATION. MAKEUP. JEWELLERY. CLOTHS: Work harder, spend more, neglect yourself, study, work, extra curricular pursuits and your life in general in favour of the unattainable goal to look younger, thinner, hotter, more like the airbrushed 20 year olds whose pictures we favour because OUR COCKS DEMAND IT!”

And this *has* resurfaced in the context of Arndt’s discussions! BAD women. Lose some weight bitches, then we might deign to bone you (but not til the footy’s over – and what? Oh GOD, don’t tell me you’re upset over that little incident where I yet again referred to marriage as a prison sentence? GOD you chicks are so needy and irrational!)

And don’t turn around and say ‘Just stop participating’, not when if we do you’ll start lamenting out loud that we’ve let ourselves go, stopped making an effort and share your thoughts in front of us about Just How Hot say the Olsen twins or The Veronicas are.

So really, along comes Ms Frew and says ‘Well, if attractiveness is about a toned body, sweet breath, maintenance, effort, and accoutrements, well YOU FUCKING PONY UP OR SHUT UP’.

The bigger story is that women know they’re treated as objects, as means to an end, that they’re not fully respected or appreciated and that they’re being required to be content with an utterly depressing role of The Little FuckHole That Would when you know from the mags you find just what he’s thinking about, and from his jokes just exactly how unattractive he finds you. This in the context of limited options, low pay, lack of paid maternity leave, gender role expectations, the taxing childbirth places on your body, the general hatred of and contempt for women in general and wives/mothers in particular. Oooh baby, getting HOT for dudes just thinking about this bum deal.

So Wendy Frew has hit right back. Cos honestly? The number of times I’ve heard these decaying decripit men with rank breath on public transport talking about ugly chicks, fat chicks, chicks you’d never root, and it just never ever occurs to them that their standards may perchance be double.

So another take on the ‘if it’s good for the goose it’s good for the gander’.

And while I don’t want to encourage attitudes that reduce people to ‘hot’ or ‘ugly’ and therefore ‘worthy’ or ‘unworthy’ it does really get up my nose just exactly what men expect of women to hit the Erection Switch when they do so very fucking LITTLE themselves.

Judith Lucy shares a story about her poor mother, who tried desperately to get her father interested in her body (which was still *killer* thanks to extreme methods of starvation and laxatives) when her father said to her (while she was in her late forties) about a South American 19 year old Miss Universe contestant: give or take a few years you should still look like that.

As Lucy remarks this was unfair as her dad looked like a cross between Bob Hawke and…I can’t remember…a walnut?

But my dad is the same. Constantly telling me it’s *fact* that men age better than women (and men are better chefs, but I digress) and ogling women and referring to them as ‘hot’ or ‘fine’ (very young women) when he is killing himself with the drink, has a swollen belly that will kill him early, has breath that literally means no one wants to sit in the same room, scratches his nuts and picks his nose in front of others…and his eyebrows are taking over the world.

Anyway. Go Wendy Frew!

Tags: Bettina Arndt, SMH, Wendy Frew