Fuck Politeness

No posts from me for the next couple of days. I am deeply, deeply tired and sad over gender stuff.In a conversation in which I dared to suggest that gender privilege should be marked and monitored carefully in the same way as other forms of privilege it was declared by a critically engaged and culturally informed male friend that if I do not narrow the focus of my critique of masculinity I “am”

*just another man hater*

full stop. the end.

(the Phallus reserves the right to make such judgments and no correspondence will be entered into)

Not having a phallus myself I am deeply fucking exhausted by the experience of being told I was “just wrong”, of having my ability to define my take on a given situation for myself misinterpreted, used against me and taken away from me. I keep trying to write a new post, but the force has been stripped from my arguments by the disappointment and sadness I am feeling over the fact it’s just that easy. *I am a man, I don’t see it that way, you see it that way because you are a woman, ipso facto, you are wrong and if you think otherwise you are a man hater*

Fuck that. And fuck him for pulling that shit. And fuck misogyny. And fuck this stubborn idiocy of claiming that we don’t have to mark gender privilege. Fuck men assuming that their intention rules the reading of any given situation. Fuck masculine experience being designated ‘neutral’ and therefore having the veto power over female experiences. Fuck men within academia trumping gender with class, as if it’s a goddamned competition, as if we can’t consider both, and the connections between the two, proudly taking up the mantle of being ‘working class’ as if class doesn’t shift with time, experience, education and access to postgraduate studies and facilities, as if class issues don’t also impact unfairly on women. Fuck bowing to men’s take on the situation. Fuck being apologetic.

So I am off to spend an actual weekend in my house, with my child, with my friends, with my boyfriend – if my ability to critique the world around me is going to be neutralized by a few quick phrases then I’m not fucking playing this weekend. I’m going to eat, cook, clean, bum around the house and regroup. I’m also probably never going to receive an apology. After all, I’m only a woman, only a ‘man hater’ therefore aggression towards me, silencing me, misrepresenting my arguments, interrupting and refusing to allow me to speak for myself, reducing my views to being the result of my ‘minority’ status, and concluding ‘I’m wrong’ are totally fucking acceptable…it isn’t like I’ve really got anything to whinge about is it? I’m not a working class man 

Tags: class, fuck, gender, phallus, power, working class man