“I shook them violently”

April 8, 2011 “I shook them violently”

[TRIGGER WARNINGS].

So says proud douchebag Joe Francis “Girls Gone Wild” founder.

I’ve never seen his videos. I could care less to get into a debate about the relative merits of his videos, I’m not calling him a douchebag *because* he makes them (though I’m sure an extremely strong case could be made for that argument).

I was only vaguely aware of him at all until I took a study break and read this story about how four (now) women who (then girls) appeared in his videos have lodged complaints of distress, and of ostracism, ridicule and social and educational consequences of appearing in the videos. (Sounds about right: “dudes” want chicks to act like this cos PHWOAR, then everyone will punish them cos: ‘whores’*).

So, reading I am, when I get to the bit about how he represents himself in the matter (you know, not cos he’s not rich enough to afford to *hire* a douchebag lawyer to harrass these women on the stand, but because he is like super awesomely smart and knows so much SHIT right? And…because he wants. To do it. Himself.), and how the Judge holds him in contempt because he asks one of the plaintiffs if she is a prostitute (after he had been warned to tread gently with the plaintiffs in his cross-examination of them).

So okay, he’s completely a turd, I dislike him already, unsurprising, but (silver lining?) he was held in contempt (yippee). BUT THEN…

“I’m feeling fantastic,” Francis told the Panama City News Herald.

“I’m just happy it’s over. This thing has dragged on long enough.

Sounds like he’s taking things seriously, huh?

What about his attitude to being held in contempt?

“I think the judge was wrong,” Francis said.

Oh. Well okay. I mean the Judge has the years of law school, of legal practice, and is like, not only a legal expert but a JUDGE, but you make videos with boobs in them…I guess if *you* think the Judge is wrong about what constitutes contempt of court…(did I mention two women left the stand in tears?). Why is the judge wrong?

“I shook them like a tree until all the fruit fell out, and I shook them violently.”

I’d like to kick that man’s ballsack so hard his testicles popped  out his ears. And generally I’m all ‘Oh, no violence. As tempting as it is’. But…OUT THE EARS I TELL YOU! So you know, he disagrees with the claims. Hire a legal representative. Oh no, no…he’d like to do the cross-examinations himself. Because he has the salient points to make! (Like “Slut!!”). And he appears to fancy himself the legal expert: representing himself, conducting cross-examination, eschewing the judge’s definition of contempt, and bragging to us all about his cross-examination finesse. And because he wants to stand there and call them lying sluts himself. They’re saying they’re traumatised, that they’ve paid a high price for being in the videos he arranges, and he decides he personally wants to ‘shake them violently’…just for the kicks. No, he’s no misogynist!

I put it to YOU Douchebag McFuck-Knuckle that you are a complete arseface with a shitty attitude to women: you’ve made your riches off getting them to get naked and ‘nutty’ but you reserve your right to infer that they are therefore worthless, lying, opportunistic whores. I mean you WANT them to be ‘crazay sexay’ but then you want to punish them and say their words count for nothing because they’re ‘crazay sexay’. And you think you’re awesome for ‘shaking women violently’. Die in hell. With your nuts popping out your ears like grotesque parodies of easter eggs.

* I’m saying in fucked up patriarchal logic, I’m certainly not saying *I* think any such thing. Cos I don’t do that ‘good girl’/’bad girl’ crap, or at least I try to catch myself out if ever I do and give myself a good talking to about not being such a damned fool

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