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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

OH YES THERE BE SPOILERS!!

Okay, I might try to go over this movie comprehensively some other time…I’ve almost been awake for twenty four hours and I finished a closed book law exam today.

But for now…see I went to see Sex and the City 2 to relax. To unwind. To laugh. To switch of my critical brain.

Now yes, I can see why people had problems with the tv show. I can. For me however, there was some benefit to having women (Sam) say things like ‘Ladies, I need a napkin to dry of my seat! That waiter is HOT!’ on screen.

But the last movie…well…it was…ho hum was about the best you could say for it overall. There were scenes I enjoyed quite a bit. But it didn’t have the snap of the series.

But THIS movie? Well let’s see…if you can get through the ‘GAYGAYGAY’ cracks, and the ‘BOOBSBOOBSBOOBSOMGBOOBSLOOKATTHEMENLOOKINGATTHEBOOBS’ ‘storyline’, well hold on to your seat, cos after a brief and dangling segue ‘Sam’ is going to ‘the new Middle East’. I think at about the point you stopped having her negotiate casual sex and her PR job in New York, about the time you ripped the Sass-Mouth-Queen from her context and plonked her in L.A, about the time you say had to give her a dog that HUMPED everything to keep the laughs coming; I think that’s about the time that ‘Sam’ became a parody of whatever female ’empowerment’ she represented and you had to put her in more and more ludicrous situations to create the impression of a ‘plot’.

Well what better than to dump simulacrum Sam in the middle east, all tits and hot flashes, all sweaty and loudmouthed, pure cliched obnoxious ‘Yankee’, and have her continually metaphorically and literally flip the bird at those whacky whacky Muslims. See her give the man a boner. See the dog humping. See her screaming ‘This is an outrage’, see her screaming ‘Oh yes I have SEX!!!’ and waving her condoms.

The final outrage, the nail in the coffin of my desperate attempts not to scream with rage? The ‘Look How Secretly Empowered THESE Muslim Women Are!!’, the ‘labels=empowerment’ reveal, and the ‘Escape in Whacky Muslim Disguise’ scene.

By the end of that movie I hated all of them…well maybe not Miranda for at least she *tried* to learn something of the culture and language, but still she was friends with these fuckwits. Carrie – learn how to have an honest fucking dialogue for once in your life. Big: you WERE acting like a tool, she cracked it for a reason. Aidan? Go away I never liked you. Charlotte – WHEN did you decide to do that whacky overexaggerated-facial-expression thing, and also could you BE more annoying? Harry? DUDE: I like you generally, you do NOT, I repeat do NOT stare at a woman’s breasts like that unless invited to. No, not ever. Sorry.

I think we’re done here. That was a steaming pile of shit and I want my money back.

This isn’t a movie. It’s a pisstake. It’s a pro-American, anti-Islamic, regurgitated hash of oppressive cliches and neurotic bullshit with the artistic merit of used dental floss.

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