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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Ok, there are no connections between the two subjects in the header – no I’m not calling the Hoydens I went karaoke-ing with last night ‘cougars’. It’s just I went to karaoke last night and I wanted to quickly rant about how much I hate the word ‘cougar’ as I just saw an article ‘on’ “Cougars” in the SMH.

I’m just wanting to say how *very* much I hate the word ‘cougar’ and its ugly derision of women. It just encapsulates so much in two syllables. That women over 20 should not be sexual, sexually available or ‘on the prowl’. In fact women should not really be on the prowl or sexually available to whomever *they* want to go home with at *any* age, they should be property of men and ‘dole it out’ only in *that* context – ‘gifting’ it Tony Abbott style. Ok those last five words made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

That women over 30 should rightly be married off and being dutiful wives. Then men can continue to joke about wives/no sex/women as ball-and-chain. If they reject this (or bounce back when they’re rejected by men for younger women) and go out and embrace their freedom to pick up when and how they please HOW will the patriarchal order survive. So quick. We need a word to show that we disapprove of their morals AND to show that they repulse us with their non-teenage sexuality. Yuck ladies! You old cows aren’t supposed to get horny. Unless it’s in my porn ok.

That women over 25 are not legitimately single, nor should they ever be considered legitimately sexually attractive – if we let women over thirty feel sexy then we’d send the message that adult women can have a sexuality and it’s not a *thing* we can just staple mentally to the nearest child/teenager and then the fabric of the universe will unravel and chicks will start to realise it’s all a bit fucked up really, do things their own way and then who’ll wash our socks?

Women over 25 shouldn’t be out in public and ready for sex with people they don’t know. It’s wrong that these women should be out on the town dressed up and looking for action when they’re wife/mother age. Fulfill your destiny please ‘cougars’ and stop being shameful creatures of prey: get back in the kitchen, make me some pie, and pop out some sprogs.

All of this implying of course that younger women *should* be out and sexually attractive and free, and ignores the fact that male culture still brands *these* girls as sluts and responsible for any sexual assault doled out by thugs.

And what is the male equivalent? What is the name for a guy over 25 or oh my god 30 who goes out, who dares to show his haggard old face in a nightclub, or at a party or at a work function, and who lurks around when there are single carefree young women out for a dance and a fun night hoping some hot young chick will see his beautiful soul and go home with him? Oh…just…a dude. Give him a hi-five if he scores some 20 year old action, nicely played! But a woman? Well she needs some disparaging animal name to show just how disgusting it all is.

Anyway. Cougar shit aside.

Last night was karaoke-ing with the Hoydens and TBO wanted to know if we’d all be blogging about it. Three hours of a karaoke room passed very quickly and in a blur of dodgy song-prompts, lyrical misquotes, ‘ironic’ performances of Barbie Girl/Single Ladies (I had it in mind that more people would know this song and could get into some whacky Beyonce-Robot dancing with me but no)/Someone to Watch Over Me and of course laughter and alcohol. Oh yes, and a rickroll. 🙂 Was a good evening out and we should do it more often. Perhaps we ought to reclaim the word ‘cougar’ for our outings? Cougars are sleek, fast and could tear apart any menacing thug with misogynistic attitudes. They’re faster, smarter and more beautiful than the average bitter 40 year old man with an entitled-feeling cock. So rrrraww.

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