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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

So a friend put me onto a new website a little more interesting than RSVP. I put up a username but left my profile blank til today. Online trying to answer questions and upload pics this morning I had three separate guys try to chat with me by i.m.

The first opened with ‘Hey babe’, you know, instant ‘no’. I tried to politely deflect until he started pestering me about ‘no really, you’re not from Australia are you?’ after I’d said yes…I’m not sure what his preferred answer was but as I got less patient he grew more convinced that I was in fact from Africa and ‘pretending’ to be Australian (cos nothing picks em up like ‘I’m an AUSSIE maate!’ just reels them right on in, WAY sexier than pretending to be French) and then he got thoroughly shitted when I said I had a busy day so would need to stop talking. Oh I’m sorry, I’ll just quit work and study and be available for you to call me ‘babe’ shall I?

The second guy was much older with no pic and mentioned aliens and god on his profile.

The third was peachy keen and invited me to lunch in a neighbouring suburb today. When I was clear that I was not in any hurry to meet anyone just yet, that I was just coming out of a long term relationship he backed off a little, though still trying to convince me to go to lunch/describe what I was wearing. I don’t think ‘pink flannel pj pants and an old tshirt’ was what he was looking for there.

Last time I was on this giddy merrygoround was a few years ago and I had a guy who kept trying to turn chat to sexyfuntimes talk. I told him my boss had just told me his partner of 11 years had left him and that I was sad for him and he said ‘I bet you wish *I* was in the office instead’. Christ. If you can’t have some human empathy for a few minutes then fuck off.

Chatting to strangers in real life and spaces like twitter makes me realise I kind of like people. Online dating makes me despair that I will just hate most people. It also this time means I’m too scared to sign back in until I have very clear instructions as to how I can quickly set myself to appear as not online when I am so that I can just take this all a little slowly without the most eager of the eager jumping on me and asking me on dates before they’ve had time to even read my profile.


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