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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Is there a more singularly tawdry, inane ‘writer’ than Sam de Brito?

I thought perhaps when I read that his post was called ‘Punching Above Your Weight’, that he might finally admit that his pretence of being an author was an unworthy scam he’s been delighted to get away with for as long as he has.

Today he’s banging on about hot chicks who date not-so-hot men. In a topic where you could have tried to examine something vaguely interesting about social status and male privilege he’s managed to produce a piece both vapid and disgusting.

Why is Cate Blanchett with Andrew Upton? Why he had the ‘cahones’ to ‘punch above his weight’ and is now being ‘rewarded’. The usual ‘girls don’t like boys girls like cars and money’ shit trickles unpleasantly through the entire piece, and his ‘revelation’ is that if a man ‘punches above his weight’ he thereby proves himself a worthy male. There isn’t a single moment spent on pondering the fact that Cate raves about her husband, speaks at length about how happy they are, what good friends they are…nope. She didn’t go with gold digging cos he has a big hairy pair and she thought he’d provide for her caveman style.

It comes back down (as it always seems to, some days more transparently than others) de Brito’s need to talk himself up. I Have A Chick Now…and she’s hot…and I’m a little squidgy round the edges, but bully for me I have BIG HEAVY BALLS and that’s what makes ME a king amongst men!

He spends a moment or two pondering the ‘trap’ that is laid apparently for hetero men dating “hot chix” – the crippling insecurity of ‘MY WOMAN IS HAWT AND THEY ALL WANT HER’. You know I just think that if perhaps you approached women as complex human beings capable of love and affection, thoughts and desires rather than a shiny new toy or a choice bone you’d like to bury so no other dog can find it that you’d really have some more success in defeating the green eyed monster instead of pretending it isn’t there.

‘Unless you’re a very secure man…’? Well you don’t have to be George Clooney not to be a jealous steaming pile of dog turd, you just have to take a good hard look at yourself and your approach to sex and relationships. Perhaps your fear of cheating/yo woman being ogled is to do with YOUR approach to women/relationships. Women, as well as men can choose to enter into relationships for all sorts of reasons, and while I’m not about to pretend that there’s not a vast inequality in terms of expectations of socially prescribed attractiveness, I also don’t think it’s as simple as the size of the load in your nutsack honey.

I just feel ill listening to his bland vaccuous drivel – not only is he a fucking lazy thinker and writer, but the approach to men, women, sex and relationships inherent in the article is narcissistic, shallow and *nasty* – how’s about a little time out in the corner de Brito where you might consider the fact that Blanchett might love Upton precisely because he shows a truckload more intelligence and respect than you ever seem able to muster even when you try? Perhaps he doesn’t treat her as the Object de Jour, the chick any man would love to bone, but rather a talented and multifaceted woman, his friend, his lover, the mother of his children, a woman beautiful in many ways – someone in short he loves and adores not just a nice specimen to get it up by.

What I love about the TV spots (which you can see if you click that link) is they champion a new kind of masculinity, espousing being interesting instead of just rich or famous or having sick abs and that’s something any man can cultivate by just getting out in the world and doing stuff that doesn’t involve the pub or TAB or gym.

De Brito seems to think that casting an older suave gent is some radical departure here. I give you Sean Connery and Harrison Ford and though it causes me to yack in my mouth a little to type it even Hugh Heffner – think a little harder de Brito, there’s nothing ‘new’ here. Men are allowed to be ‘sexy’ because they look distinguished/have a gravelly voice/have an interesting job/wear a well cut suit/have an accent/have a hobby/are arrogant/command young women to swarm around them – men are not required to be young, thin and buff to be considered swoon worthy. That sort of shit is only put on women.

Sadly it doesn’t champion any new masculinity, it’s just the same old ‘competant man’ trope. It’s a funny ad (from the written description I’ve read) cos it takes the piss out of a long standing trope of the man who is never ruffled, the Michael Corleone cliche. And it *is* a cliche, and in fact it *is* a cliche that puts more pressure on men to be: suave, stoic, rich enough to dress impeccably, strong silent ‘manly’ types, to be all omniscient, to have a closed off attitude to women whereby their needs do not affect you and you can coldly order a prostitute brutally murdered for your political convenience and knock your wife around when her ‘silly emotions’ bug you. NOTHING. NEW.

Interesting? Sure in the cliched Corleone/Bond type of Master Of Anything He Tries (Impossible For Real Men To Achieve) kind of way.

And here is where I sink the boot in a little:

espousing being interesting instead of just rich or famous or having sick abs and that’s something any man can cultivate by just getting out in the world and doing stuff that doesn’t involve the pub or TAB or gym

No. Any man cannot cultivate it. Not simply by ‘doing stuff’, not simply by eschewing the TAB or the gym. Perhaps by dropping the hackneyed cliched advice of the de Brito’s of the world, getting their head out of their arse, having a good look around and actually beginning to engage with the world and with women in a way where they seek to engage with things for the experience of learning and negotiating and growing and learning and NOT in order to claim their rightful prize for being rich/famous/having big balls/being some unacheivable Bond type. Women are not your dog biscuits for when you learn new tricks. Maybe if you got THAT through your head you might have a shot in hell of becoming anything that could remotely be described as interesting.

Til then, ciao.

Also, did anyone who read the full article note that the Good News that was proclaimed was that MEN could be interesting and thereby sexy/desired, but women cannot – women must stay behind, left to obsessively groom, diet and exercise, to hang on to youth that is always fleeting, in short the chicks must stay hot not just interesting or else WHERE will these deserving men get their new shiny chew toys?

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