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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Well miniFP and I visited the family on the weekend. And now we’re sick. That’s what you get.

It’s dusty up there…no it’s not some mining town, it’s the fact that dusting is apparently against their religion and I’ve tried to say nicely a number of times that this makes miniFP (and me) sick but to no avail, either two and two is not making four or the attitude is ‘suck it up princess I don’t care for housework’. In stronger times he can go and it’s fine, but this time his lungs shut down almost immediately and he’s still recovering.

As for me, I made the mistake (at the birthday dinner of my youngest sister) of trying to start a conversation with my father, my dysfunctional in almost every conceivable way, my grossly unhealthy, continuously belching father with, to put it politely digestive and dental health issues, my alcoholic father with the halitosis that will one day, mark my words, kill someone; which went like this:

Me (normal voice) – so we went to see Transformers 2 this we…

Him (cutting me off, seedy voice) – the only thing I’M interested in about Transformers Two is Megan Fox.

Me…stunned silence, turns head, refuses to speak anymore, starts almost nuzzling my aunts hair to smell something else.

How DOES he manage to do that…you GIVE him the start of a perfectly harmless conversation in which he could ask your thoughts/engage with his grandson, and no, instead of playing the ball, he lobs in a pervy lecherous old hand grenade. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, even IF you thought people wanted to hear about it when you were younger, there comes a time in every man’s life when he must accept that no one, but no one, wants to hear about your erections – PARTICULARLY NOT YOUR DAUGHTERS.

Anyway, since mini FP is sick, I’ve been trying to work from home and one of my bosses appears to have the shits and seems to be being kind of an arsehole about it. He’s answering me in cold monosyllables, and for the rest is ignoring me with a pissed off air – this from the man who turns up late and does crosswords all day while whinging how much he has on his plate. That’s not easy for me to ignore when I’m already worried at being away from my sick child for any period of time, when the promised ‘conversation’ about me being able to drop back to three days work a week to AVOID having to take days off, and also to stay sane is continuing to be ignored and put off and I’m in fact WORKING on a sick/carer’s day, just working from home when I’d be within rights to just have that time off.

So (tangentially) last night I made a pie. And then there were the scraps of puff pastry. Humouring mini FP I made tiny nutella filled parcels – three each (yes, teaching him the rules of good nutrition is a ceaseless job). So we sat and we munched them with glasses of milk. When he was done he shook his head and said ‘Whoa, even my GRANDKIDS are gonna be hyper!’

I just loved that for some reason. Almost as good as his response to a friend who said ‘I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but what do two rights make?’ to which mini FP promptly responded ‘A  u-turn’.

And that’s me folks. Night. Off to read Harry Potter some more. Stopping at book five so I don’t hate movie 6 (care to take bets on whether I cave? It is after all two weeks til the movie is out and I’ll be finished this book before the weekend).

Oh dear – just caught this tiny snippet of The Simpsons: (Groundskeeper Willy in a snit): That’s the last time you’ll be slapping your Willy around…I QUIT’. Do you think it would go badly if I shouted that randomly at the next person who pissed me off?

What’s going on with everyone else?

P.S/ Is it the sign of a nerd that you desperately want your exam results to come out??


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