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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Fucking WHY? I’m an intelligent woman. WHY did I in my browsing time at work click on the FUCKING link for “Ask Sam”?

Oh BLAH ALL women are SO ALL ABOUT THE DATING that they ALL read every schlocky self-help-how-to-ensnare-a-man-and-find-the-bliss-of-marriage book ever released spending all their money (leftover from expensive grooming products) from their frivolous girl-jobs which they will promptly quit to live in marital bliss BLAH.

So today she’s interviewing the comedian who wrote a book on how women ought to take full responsibility for the health of relationships by virtue of NOT SHAGGING any man they’re interested in for 90 days. Makes it sound a little like a commercial transaction tp purchase a flat screen tv (90 days interest free – and you know what if it’s a new relationship I might in deed be ‘interest free’ by the end of no sex for 90 days, not because you *can’t have a connection without sex* but because I fucking LIKE it and don’t buy the ‘not having sex means something special’ horseshit) to me, but these two are *taking it serious-like*.

In the following excerpt, see how he goes from ‘men have it their way too much’, to we get the sex (gift from you cos obv YOU don’t get anything from sex) without having to *give* women anything (women being less sexual beings who need gifts to want to put out),ย  to don’t be a raging whore (ie/ have sex) because *raging whores* are not to be taken home to meet the ma/are not fully human:

Me (Sam): You say women need to wait 90 days from the time they meet a guy till they sleep with them. These days, with one-night stands being so prevalent, are guys really going to wait around for 90 days?

Steve: Guys who really want you will wait 90 days. They do it all the time. Too many women have given up the power over the years because men have created the terms. We keep doing what we want and keep being able to get what we want without having to give you women anything. But here’s what’s happening in the 90-day period – you are spending time with the guy, holding hands, meeting the guy’s parents, going to church together, meeting his kids and his ex-girlfriend.You’re getting to know him before becoming emotionally or sexually involved.

Me (Sam): Won’t they just go ahead and date someone else who will sleep with them sooner?

Steve: Very few men are going to take the stripper home to meet our mothers. So if you are going to act like a stripper, we’re not going to take you home. We want someone who we can introduce to our mothers and who we can call our own. Anyone can sleep with a guy in 24-48 hours, but you’re sending the wrong signal to the guy if you do that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Ok. Let’s get this straight. Women do not fall into two neat categories:

A/ Like sex – stripper – worthless whore – hot sex but never trust them/take them home to mum/treat them as fully human and/or ‘girlfriend material’

b/ “Nice girl” – Doles out sex as a favour but is *naive* and *sweet* and *kind* and all the things that you think ‘whores’ can’t be and you think she thinks sex is kind of icky – ding ding, keeper – take them home, put them on a pedestal, worship them (til you get bored/they put on weight/you get married and can only think of her as ‘the ball and chain’ then bin her as sexless nagging wife and spend your nights wanking to porn and telling her you’re too tired for sex cos you’ve got the whole fucked up wife= nice girl/sex=NAUGHTY ooh naughty, can’t do that with a ‘nice’ girl shit going on)

Fucking GET OVER IT already. There are no fucking rules, there is no fucking ‘game plan’. This is a dumb ploy to make a buck from a book which promises you something that it cannot guarantee to deliver, and what’s more the PREMISE is fucked up: Men uniformly suck: they allegedly ‘know what they want’ but can’t do anything about it themselves for reasons unexplained, and are so totally and utterly driven by their cocks that they cannot possibly be expected to think straight/make a sound decision about what they want/treat you well without being trapped into it/treat women with respect, and need to be manipulated into any form of commitment that they allegedly knew they wanted anyway (marriage obviously being the ‘best’ even though we know from society that they’ll be encouraged to inevitably resent their wives and their ‘loss of freedom’ cos women are always such a burden, but shh) and it’s YOUR JOB to teach them how to be a good human being and work around their emotional problems and the way to do it is MANIPULATION and most importantly celibacy you whore bag.

Furthermore, YYYYYYYYYAK (vomiting noise):

Me: You say there are three things that women need to give men: loyalty, support and cookie. What’s the cookie?

Steve: The cookie is the critical part. It’s a word I created for sex and you’ve got to give a man all three things. If you miss one out, he is going to find it somewhere else.

Oh. Ok, he’s going to find it elsewhere AFTER the magic ninety days in which you ensure he LOVES you and CHERISHES you and will ONLY BE YOURS FOREVER AMEN. Before that ninety days he won’t go get it elsewhere, only AFTER he’s solidly committed to you as a couple.That makes sense…

And fucking COOKIES! “It’s a word I created for sex”?? (Vomits loudly). I do not *give* sex out like a cookie to a child who has just had a tetanus shot. Ok? It is not an act of kindness I bestow, a favour I do, it is not something I *allow* to happen on me out of kindness all the while wishing I was an elsewhere, it is not a chore I engage in for the benefit of a man (cos only MEN need sex and the only sex that counts is het sex) and the health of the relationship it is something I DO WITH PEOPLE because I fucking well WANT to, because I love it, I enjoy it, I am a woman, and I have a sexual appetitie, and varied desires that enjoy to be met you fucking puritanical fucked up douchehound!

Furthermore, I think you should be beaten about the head with your own book for suggesting that strippers are not women you could ‘take home to your mother’ (ie/ are the wrong ‘kind’ of girl). So it’s ok for men to go *see* strippers (and APPARENTLY you assume that they’re then going to jump you because your cock is irresistible/they’re raging *sluts* who jump men indiscriminately rather than say they have a job as a stripper and still get to choose when and where and how and with whom and on what terms they have sex), but OBVIOUSLY they are some WHOLE distinct category of women and should never have your respect? Fuck you, misogynist.

Me: What do you say to people who criticise you for being too traditional and say that your methods would never work for modern dating?

Steve: That’s a bunch of crap. Love is never going to go out of style, A man is always going to want to have the love of a woman. She just needs a game plan to work out how to get his love.

Aw, ain’t that romantic? It’s like one big Sinatra song. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Girl must immediately and shrewdly form a game plan to ensnare him in her web. And then he’s HERS…so long as she isn’t some slutty stripper and gives him virginal LOVE and SUPPORT and doles out cookies like dog biscuits. Mmm nummy treats. Blowjobs on birthdays? FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

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