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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

So it was my son’s 12th birthday last week. It’s been stinking hot for weeks and I had to cook for my family’s impending visit the next day.

We ordered pizza and salad and parked ourselves in front of The West Wing (I’m not a mean parent, he really likes it, he LOVES the banter and the jokes).

It’s the episode in Season One where the Pres is reading the report on sex education that recommends ‘Abstinence Plus’ be taught. That is, don’t tell them *not* to have sex, cos they’re gonna do it anyway (duh). Since the Christians would have had a heart attack if they’d pushed through a proper sex ed program that encouraged frank and full discussions about how to safely have and enjoy penis-in-vagina sex, the only kind the Christians can seem to imagine anyway, Abstinence Plus it appeared was teaching kids about masturbation, mutual masturbation and oral sex.

So mini FP pauses and asks for an explanation. I explain abstinence. He then wants to know about Abstitence Plus. Seeing as how I’ve always been frank and open and unembarrassed in explaining these things, and he’s about to head off to High School I say, oh you know, masturbation in front of each other, or ‘for’ each other, or oral sex.

He says “ORAL sex???”, and I say, “Yeah, you know, using your mouth”. He does this massive Kramer double take, puts his hand up next to his ear as if he’s been struck deaf and says loudly “EXCUSE ME???? Did I HEAR YOU CORRECTLY????”.

I explain yes, it’s ok, you know, it’s just licking/sucking. Then says ‘Ewww GROSS!’. All I could say was ‘Yeah…well…in a few years time you might not think so’

It led to discussions about changing bodies and feelings, and then we went back to The West Wing but man, I loved that reaction: Did I HEAR YOU CORRECTLY??? (Like: Are you people all fucking INSANE???)

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