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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

This just in. Young supermodel with lusted after boyfriend DANCES RAUNCHILY! Onlookers SHOCKED and scandalised. OMG say onlookers, what a filthy, filthy whore! YES says newspaper. BIG whore! Needs sleep now after whorish night!

How the FUCK is this news? How is it even print-worthy? She was out (at a NIGHTBLUB I might add) with her boyfriend, some music was playing, she did a little raunchy dancing with him…..AND????

If reports coming out of Hollywood over the weekend are to be believed, it’s no wonder she was a little exhausted.

Yeah…that dirty dancing SURE is exhausting. Slow gyrating as opposed to the bustin out ass-shaking of regular dancing. TIR-ING! Girl should have stuck to placing her handbag in the centre of the circle and dancing around it self consciously.

According to various gossip websites, Kerr and her Pirates Of The Caribbean actor boyfriend Orlando Bloom were partying at “exclusive Hollywood hot spot Teddy’s” on Saturday night “when she suddenly began writhing sexily around him, much to the amazement of onlookers“. Amazing indeed.

A girl dirty dances at a NIGHTCLUB and the onlookers are AMAZED? Where was she, at the fucking Amish Hoe-down? If she’d started “writhing sexily around him” at Obama’s Inaugural Address that might have been amazing, if it had been at a kindy performance of Old MacDonald that would have been flabbergaster-worthy. But at a nightclub? Oh PLEASE!

And this is supposedly enough to make her OBVIOUSLY so like, TOTALLY exhausted? Please. Seriously. If she’s tired, she possibly went home and shagged Orlando rotten, and fair play. Even then? Not sluttish at all. I’m sick of this OMG prudishness in the SMH!

The drapes were drawn and the doona given a good workout yesterday as supermodel Miranda Kerr flew back to Sydney in preparation for David Jones’s bi-annual Frock and Awe runway shows.

Oh…so she dirty dances and that’s startlingly whorish and exhausting. But you with your heheh, I’d like to give Miranda Kerr’s doona a good workout inuendo is innocent.

ENOUGH with the “Aren’t these women all such SLUTS?” routine already.

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