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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Too tired to write more, but please go read this article in the SMH.

When I was being stalked by my ex, I sent my two young sisters with my son to the police station to wait for me as his behaviour that day was more erratic and frightening than normal. Finally I managed to extract myself from his company and went to the police station to find my family and calm down.

He turned up outside. I said I did not want to speak to him and hid in the back room with my sisters and son.

A police officer went out to talk and ten minutes later ordered me outside since my ex allegedly “Just wanted to talk”.

I didn’t feel that disobeying the large armed police officer was an option so I did. Of course after fifteen minutes of his paranoid, accusatory bullshit and yelling, I also raised my voice. And the minute I did, there was the officer again, looking disgusted with me telling me “Your kids are all crying back there!” in a tone that made it clear he *knew* it was because of my irresponsible mothering in meanly yelling at their dad. (By the way I was five when my sister was born!)

When the ex left I was shaking and tearful, and quite clear in wanting to file an A.V.O. I was flatly refused help and told to go the Magistrates office. I did so where I was told that really the police ought to have helped.

They were contemptous, dismissive and totally unwilling to help. My obvious fear and distress did nothing to move them. They ordered me outside where god knows WHAT could have happened (no one stayed to supervise), they told me off for distressing my children when THEY ordered me to speak to a man I was HIDING IN THE FUCKING COP SHOP FROM!!! And then they would not take the application for protection that I am legally entitled to apply for no matter WHAT their fucking pig ignorant attitude.

I got my A.V.O through the magistrates court. I had friends completely dismiss my fear (the guy was 6’6″ and had told me he’d broken his ex’s jaw…his mother *insists* this is not true, but by then it hardly mattered…he did it or he told me to make me afraid, he broke things, he made threats and when drunk he tried to kick me but happily fell through a wall instead) and his family stopped speaking to me. They’ve never forgiven me. Ha! Kiss my arse! They’ve never forgiven ME for the fact that I had been so reduced to a state of constant fear and anxiety by months of stalking, intimidation and threats that I finally said “No more”, I finally took it seriously enough and applied for help? Fuck you bastards! I don’t want your forgiveness. Forgive your arsehole son. Forgive the misogynist cops. But don’t even dare to talk about forgiving me!

I’m telling you this not to say, Oooh, my story is dramatic too…but in case people are tempted to say this failure is an individuial thing. I bet many stories come out of the woodwork. The attitudes that cause people to ignore women’s fear and concerns is systemic. Gaargh. Gott run, business meeting


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