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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

Shitballz I’m tired!

I feel like I lost my posting mojo a while ago (recent Cleo post being a possible exception).

Because I feel share-y and because I have consumed a tiny amount of scotch which has gone straight to my head, here is some info about recent events in the world of FP:

* My son spilled Coke on my laptop keyboard! Oh yes indeedy. This is the son from the “Set the new combination lock on the new bike and wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper which the cleaner then threw away rendering new bike uselessly chained by very expensive new bike to the balcony of our rental property forever more” fame. The son of the “The one time I didn’t remind him to take his DS with him when he got out of the taxi he left it in the damned taxi” fame. I love my son. I proved that by keeping him after he vommied in my hair as a child, and after the incident in which after protracted bowel issues he ‘held on’ for weeks, was dosed (by doctors) with laxatives and enemas and eventually…pooed all over my light blue carpets, entire bathroom and my entire body. Poor bugger. It’s hard to type this as the space bar crunches and sticks. There you go.

* I have tried to take a little headspace from the crazy life I lead (work, study, sole care of child with extra needs) and to not stress, to be in the moment. It means that I am giggling at my son’s delightful literalism and quirky thought processes again: Instance the first (DAMN THIS CRUNCHY SPACE KEY!!!) he stands in my door way, arms crossed, frowning thoughtfully…I wonder what’s going on as he’s getting ready and looks VERY concerned about something…he says “You know what *I* would do?” (no, and about what???) “I would get a space shuttle and fill it with ALL the cockroach baits in the world. I’d wait for them all to crawl on board and then I’d launch it”.Literalism? You ask: well I had a better example, but it appears I’m mildly intoxicated from the shamefully small portion of alcohol I consumed so I will sign off with the time we were walking down the street when he was 6 and he suggested we try a new brand of fake grass. I was puzzled as we lived in a share house at the time with more grass than we knew what to do with so I said: “The LAST thing WE need is more grass”, and he said “But MUM, it’s better for the active family including the dog” – and I thought “Someone let you watch television didn’t they??”

* I have had surprisingly strong moments of happiness and contentment where I can’t believe how much my life has changed for the better…all week long I’ve had them. Delightful.

* I forgot temporarily about the spectacular rudeness of many men. I live in a ‘nice-y, nice-nice’ suburb, so I don’t get exposed to the leering and jeering too often. I walked down the street the other day and two guys approached and passed and one said “Loooook, look, look, look, look, look, look” – he sounded EXACTLY like a chicken. I turned to laugh at this when I realised that what he was urging his mate to “look” at were my breasts. Yes. They are large. And quite lovely. Well spotted dickwad.

* I did some things I have been avoiding out of fear/busy-ness/laziness: I sang in front of my boyfriend (I have major fear of singing in front of others, and he is quite the music man and I don’t know…it doesn’t make sense  but I was proper SCARED about it…but I did it!!)…I joined a photography pool group on Flickr and dug out old photos. I love it, I am decent at it, and I do bugger all with it. Determined to change that. I got my L’s – for real?? I am 32 years old!! About fucking TIME!! Aaaand I finally sorted out what’s the what with my damned net speed slowing down! New TV here I come! W00t!

* I managed to run the conveyancing practise of my law firm without the presence of my boss – of course this week all the bizarre and tricky situations came up and a gazillion new contracts came in. Good learning process. Also cause for need of scotch.

It’s not all coke-spills, and bike and DS incidents with my son. He’s is a way cool kid who makes me laugh daily, and despite his difficulties (ADD and Asperger Syndrome) he has some freaking AWESOME skills of insight and independance. Like when he lost the DS? I was on the way to the Ls test, so he sat with pen and paper in the food store, and used my mobile to make the appropriate reports and enquiries and waited for me to come back. How cool is that? Growing up. Ok. Need food now.

I’m off to cook and clean half-cut. Later!


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