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Fuck Politeness

This is a revolution, not a public relations movement

I got tagged!

The lovely WildlyParenthetical has tagged me in a “meme” – it’s ok, I don’t really know what one of them is either…but *this* one involves me picking up the nearest book of over 123 pages.

I then have to turn to page 123, find the fifth sentence, then post the next three sentences. (I’m going to assume this means the 6th, 7th and 8th and ignore any partial sentences). I am bored with what happened earlier when I picked up a Terry Pratchet book and found surely the three UNfunniest sentences that man’s ever written…and since it’s no longer the closest book over 123, I will ignore my earlier practise run, and utilising the legalistic argument that I can justify this by the fact that THIS OTHER book which may provide more entertainment for this “meme” is nearer me NOW that I have my laptop on my lap and about to partake in said “meme”. Here goes:

Oh wow…this worked out so much better

Ok, you know what? I’m not even TELLING you what this is from yet:

He assembled fifty buckets of human urine, which he kept for months in his cellar. By various recondite processes, he converted the urine first into a noxious paste and then into a translucent waxy substance. None of it yielded gold, of course, but a strange and interesting thing did happen.

  Stranger than fifty buckets of urine in a cellar for months trying to make GOLD?? (This is actually what this dude (Hennig Brand) was doing in 1675 by the way). He thought “wee-wee” (I apologise for that idiocy, a bit of an in-joke w my boyfriend to start using the word “wee wee” in public forums to see what happens) could turn into gold…so he did the above. Dude could’ve made a LOT of jewellery if he’d been right. But it would’ve been kinda gross…and smelled funny I’d imagine.

So anyway, instead of creating his fortune as the local ringmaker, he…caused a fucking fire! From wee-wee!!

 So the next two sentences after the above quoted three are:

After a time the substance began to glow. Moreover, when exposed to air, it often spontaneously burst into flame

Now glowing urine that self immolates is kinda fascinating, almost enough to induce me to store a bucket full of my own in the shared laundry downstairs for a few months to see…except then I remembered the recondite processes involved. Now I don’t know (yet) what recondite means…bear with me…ok go here… wtf?? Even more disturbing now I’ve read the definitions. Ok…so assuming it means by various mysterious processes, rather than something involving it being back in his own abdomen after months in a cellar…I’m getting rather sidetracked.

Point is, right, I remembered the whole active involvement involved in turning it first into a noxious paste, then into a waxy substance. No deal. Kinda like a really, really disgusting play dough recipe…

So there you have it. Someone tags me and you all get to learn about some dude trying to make his wee wee into gold, but first making paste, then wax, then glowing stuff, then FIRE…this is a totally fucking awesome “meme” (so turns out this is an idea on one blog that gets responded to on others – which probably the rest of the world knew before me).

I don’t know so much.

So…now I tag five other ppl:

k. I like these ppls blogs, but I doubt they (at least the first two) know who I am…let’s see what happens shall we?

1/ A Lover and a Fighter at hobocamp (and my good god this woman can make me laugh hysterically)

2/ Um…well Bitch herself or M. LeBlanc at BitchPhD

3/ Figleaf over at Real Adult Sex

4/ Dredgirl from Fuck The Post Political

5/ And L from Editorializing the Editors

K. So…now what? What are the rules of this “meme” gig people? Do I sit back and hope they one day read this? Or do they click through to me when they realise ppl are clicking through to them from here?? Or do I tell them? I don’t know number 1 or 2…what then would I say “Oh hi…you don’t know me but I decided to play a game with you?” only wierd kids did that at school. Anyway, whatever, I’ll leave the meme process to sort itself out, I’m off to beddies.

 Sweet dreams…of noxious pastes and wax and self combusting “wee wee”.


Um…sorry…there is no more, I just couldn’t make the “more” thing go away. Sheepish grin

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