I just called to say…go fuck yourself

The wankers of the week awards go to:

Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross for this fucking crap. Obviously the logic is, if a woman refers to herself as a slut, she’s a worthless piece of shit, to be disrespected and punished and is fair game for moronic jokes of all kinds. Including the kind where you harrass an old man by telling him you fucked/enjoyed his grand-daughter. The clear butt of the joke is he ought to feel shame for having such a ’slut’ of a grand-daughter, that she is not a proper woman or a proper relative. FUCK YOU TWO PRICKS!

Uniliver for the ad suggesting that women ‘fuck men up’ and men’s lives would be simpled up so much if women were like pot noodle soup. Including, yes, being kept in a cupboard. If you want to fuck a bowl of noodles, or some other inanimate object then go right ahead, but if you want the benifits of a relationship with a real live woman then get some fucking respect quick smart. Or be left to jerk off in the dark in misogynist bitterness after a bowl of those lovely cardboard-tasting unilever products.

Sam in the City for this piece of truly misogynist horseshit. It deserves a post of its own, to examine how any woman human hack op-ed writer could feel comfortable being so contemptuous of all women, everywhere and perpetuate and reinforce such particularly damaging stereotypes of women. (We nag, we can’t help it, we love it, we enjoy to make the men miserable etc etc). So if I have time later I’m going to tear that piece of crap to pieces.

The arsehole who thinks no-one knows s/he found my blog by the search ‘raped while she sleeps free videos’. Rape is NOT entertainment. Go learn that pretty please and I will endeavour to remind myself that violence is NOT something to be embraced, even in your case.

The workman who worked past last week and informed me he had a ’surprise for me’ and it was a ‘big one’. And his two friends for not saying something to him. You think women don’t KNOW that’s a reminder he could rape me if he wanted to? Disguised as a little joke? “I have a cock and it’s huge, and I love seeing your fear and discomfort”??

And THIS is why Healthy Harold says “Drugs Are Bad Hmm-Kay??”

K. I is de bad. I is de DRUNK. See prior post. Stoopid A-hole ex in town. Me drink beer w gud friend. Me drink scotch w lover. Me DRUNKITY DRUNK NOW.

Is BAD cos “Ideologically Impure” is AWESOME blog and writer tagged me in meme (AGES ago) where am supposed to name 7 awesome blogs…but I was busy and forgot to do it…now is pissed and has to concentrate on not-fall-down.

Music is my friend. (Segueway). Learn to play the guitar (badly…slowly w many pauses). Loves de friends. Loves de kid. Loves de world and de lover. Hates de ex and his stoopid ways (calls tonight and sez don’ wanna see te kid, cos going away to TAMWORTH, so fuck off kid if haz expectationz – so me getz angry and den drunkzors…you gotz NO IDEA how long it takes to type this with bad drunkz and sticky space bar!). Oh shitzc- haz to go to works tomorrow.

K so HellOnHairyLegs (had to type like eight times-scotch bad) tagged me AGAIN. Cos I haz cool name. SHE does!

In another lifetime…

Tired.

Short version is that in what feels like another lifetime, I was a messed up teen, I got knocked up at 19, kept the pregnancy, tried to ‘make it work’ with the dad, realised he was an abusive alcoholic/drug dependant child in a man’s body who hid from his (substantial) problems and was never gonna get his shit sorted no matter how many promises he made…and I, seeing what our lives would be like if we stayed bailed to try to establish a life of safety and hope for myself and my son.

He called to complain that I took the rental television (that’s what happens when it’s in my name and you smash things), got wasted and visited a hooker, threatened to kidnap our son, stalked me within an inch of my life (for real, my hair fell out in chunks, I lost so much weight I looked like I had a terminal illness and I dreamt all night long of ringing phones and stupid arguments), descended even further into binge drinking and taking more and more serious drugs, contracted Hep C, nearly lost both his arms shooting up street grade smack…finally got clean…and decided to move to Germany.

I’ve been looking after our son on my own since he was about nine months old. His dad was completely dysfunctional until our son (sorry, just not wanting to use names) was about five or six. He moved when my son was I think around six or seven. He keeps promising that he’ll move back. He promises to start sending some child support, he promises to be in more contact, he promises a lot…and never delivers. He promised it was for a year or so. He promised he’d pay for our son to go over to visit after a year. Never happened. He’s been back twice. My son is 11.

He called on Friday night to tell me he was in Aus. For 2 1/2 weeks. For a wedding.Oh yeah. His dad has another child now.

My son is both excited and angry. He’s all over the place like a yo-yo and I’m trying to be there to listen and give hugs and support and give space and facilitate visits and cope with his mood swings…and am quietly standing to one side while he’s elated to finally meet his little brother (ten months old)…and am bracing myself to be ready to pick up the pieces when his poor little heart gets broken all over again. It’s inconcievable to me…

[Edited to note that I didn't have to *wait* very long. Guy calls to say that the wedding this w/e may be the last time he sees the son this visit, as they are off to Tamworth for a full week...and no, the son is not invited. So now the visit here is cut from 2 1/2 weeks, to 1 1/2 and will consist of one two hour visit, one day trip to the Aquarium, and one family wedding...because OBVIOUSLY when you move o'seas to look after your new partners ailing father at the expense of your child, what you should do on your brief visit back is spend a whole week of that time visiting your new partners friends at your son's expense. WHAT THE FUCK???]

It was just a small nip of scotch, I promise!

Shitballz I’m tired!

I feel like I lost my posting mojo a while ago (recent Cleo post being a possible exception).

Because I feel share-y and because I have consumed a tiny amount of scotch which has gone straight to my head, here is some info about recent events in the world of FP:

* My son spilled Coke on my laptop keyboard! Oh yes indeedy. This is the son from the “Set the new combination lock on the new bike and wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper which the cleaner then threw away rendering new bike uselessly chained by very expensive new bike to the balcony of our rental property forever more” fame. The son of the “The one time I didn’t remind him to take his DS with him when he got out of the taxi he left it in the damned taxi” fame. I love my son. I proved that by keeping him after he vommied in my hair as a child, and after the incident in which after protracted bowel issues he ‘held on’ for weeks, was dosed (by doctors) with laxatives and enemas and eventually…pooed all over my light blue carpets, entire bathroom and my entire body. Poor bugger. It’s hard to type this as the space bar crunches and sticks. There you go.

* I have tried to take a little headspace from the crazy life I lead (work, study, sole care of child with extra needs) and to not stress, to be in the moment. It means that I am giggling at my son’s delightful literalism and quirky thought processes again: Instance the first (DAMN THIS CRUNCHY SPACE KEY!!!) he stands in my door way, arms crossed, frowning thoughtfully…I wonder what’s going on as he’s getting ready and looks VERY concerned about something…he says “You know what *I* would do?” (no, and about what???) “I would get a space shuttle and fill it with ALL the cockroach baits in the world. I’d wait for them all to crawl on board and then I’d launch it”.Literalism? You ask: well I had a better example, but it appears I’m mildly intoxicated from the shamefully small portion of alcohol I consumed so I will sign off with the time we were walking down the street when he was 6 and he suggested we try a new brand of fake grass. I was puzzled as we lived in a share house at the time with more grass than we knew what to do with so I said: “The LAST thing WE need is more grass”, and he said “But MUM, it’s better for the active family including the dog” – and I thought “Someone let you watch television didn’t they??”

* I have had surprisingly strong moments of happiness and contentment where I can’t believe how much my life has changed for the better…all week long I’ve had them. Delightful.

* I forgot temporarily about the spectacular rudeness of many men. I live in a ‘nice-y, nice-nice’ suburb, so I don’t get exposed to the leering and jeering too often. I walked down the street the other day and two guys approached and passed and one said “Loooook, look, look, look, look, look, look” – he sounded EXACTLY like a chicken. I turned to laugh at this when I realised that what he was urging his mate to “look” at were my breasts. Yes. They are large. And quite lovely. Well spotted dickwad.

* I did some things I have been avoiding out of fear/busy-ness/laziness: I sang in front of my boyfriend (I have major fear of singing in front of others, and he is quite the music man and I don’t know…it doesn’t make sense  but I was proper SCARED about it…but I did it!!)…I joined a photography pool group on Flickr and dug out old photos. I love it, I am decent at it, and I do bugger all with it. Determined to change that. I got my L’s – for real?? I am 32 years old!! About fucking TIME!! Aaaand I finally sorted out what’s the what with my damned net speed slowing down! New TV here I come! W00t!

* I managed to run the conveyancing practise of my law firm without the presence of my boss – of course this week all the bizarre and tricky situations came up and a gazillion new contracts came in. Good learning process. Also cause for need of scotch.

It’s not all coke-spills, and bike and DS incidents with my son. He’s is a way cool kid who makes me laugh daily, and despite his difficulties (ADD and Asperger Syndrome) he has some freaking AWESOME skills of insight and independance. Like when he lost the DS? I was on the way to the Ls test, so he sat with pen and paper in the food store, and used my mobile to make the appropriate reports and enquiries and waited for me to come back. How cool is that? Growing up. Ok. Need food now.

I’m off to cook and clean half-cut. Later!

The CLEO, the CLEO, the CLEO’s on fire…burn motherfucker…burn

I don’t know why I did it to myself, but I opened my sister’s issue of this month’s Cleo. Perhaps it’s because my youngest sister had been flicking through and rating ” She’s SOOooo hot” , and ‘She’s UGLY, she’s so gap-toothed’ etc.

It was the usual parade – a blur of fashion ads, ads for “Girls Night In” (a breast cancer awareness fundraiser, which CLEO suggests you spend sitting around in your underwear with your female friends…cos that’s what we do, us females, we enjoy hanging out in our undies together), and snaps of celebrities with fake tans, anorexia and cosmetic surgery – after a while you start to think you’ve found some account of some eternally youthful and nubile Aryan race with an ever changing wardrobe. (Top piece of hilarity? CLEO is cranky cos there are starving kids in the world and J-Lo dresses her kid in a new designer outfit each day..this coming from CLEO with it’s ” Shoes you MUST HAVE” ethos).

Anyway, same old dross. And then I get to a page on ways to tell if a guy loves you even though he doesn’t/won’t say it. OH DEAR!

So apparently men are all emotionally dysfunctional morons who couldn’t possibly genuinely display or communicate their own emotions (Cleo FACT!)

So: you know he loves you when he jerks it thinking about you and not other women – a/ how WOULD you ever know??? I mean really? Are you gonna stalk him, then wait for climax, pop out of a bush near the window and scream Are you thinking about ME??? Ask him? Bwahahaha! “Honey, when you wank, are you thinking of me?”, “Um…yeah…sure”. b/ Please. How about a little perspective? Masturbation and who/what you think about has FUCK ALL to do with your love for/devotion to your significant other, or really to do with anything at all. Do YOU always masturbate thinking about HIM? OH NOES!!! YOU DON”T LOVE HIM!!!!!

What is the DEAL with this shit!?? It just seems like more food for paranoia – Girls, you need to stress over this, and wonder, and fret, and maybe ask and make things really uncomfortable. Here’s an idea girls. Instead of lying awake wondering if he’s masturbating and if so who is he thinking about and what it means for your relationship? Stop wasting your time. Get to know your own body! How’s about you spend that time constructively: why don’t YOU masturbate instead of lying around working on developing crippling emotional issues. After all, you’re going to feel a whole lot better afterwards. (Yeah, I know, Cleo doesn’t actually admit that women wank! We’re dainty and a-sexual and have sex as a favour).

What were the others (I’ve left this post half finished a while). Oh yeah, you know your fella loves you when he holds your hand in public BECAUSE this lets people know he’s clean and getting laid regularly. So…not *really* about you and how much he loves you so much as the social acceptance holding your hand grants him? Well done Cleo! I know I’ll be subscribing to your magazine for answers to all life’s questions.

Oh another was ‘if he ‘jokes around’ a lot’. So right, if you ask him “How long will you love me” (cos Cleo encourages emotional codependancy and the asking of ludicrous and unanswerable questions the answers to which are to build our egos or crush our souls because women have no existence except that a man loves them) and he says “I dunno…how long does a blow job last for” you should bask in warm happy feelings of love, rather than roundly kick his balls, because THAT means he loves you. EXCUSE ME FUCKING WHAT????

Ok. Do NOT ask the damned question, you know it’s insanity, go home and have a fucking sleep, write in your diary, do what you need to to NOT ask the question. Second, if you DO actually ask…and he comes back with that I suggest you say “Not very long in your case dickwad”, dump his arse and get a new boyfriend. Men putting you down/reducing you to a sexual service centre/being self absorbed pricks/hurting you for their amusement is NOT AFFIRMATION OF LOVE.

Men are NOT emotionally *incapable* of expressing themselves maturely except that they choose to be/choose not to sort their shit out. So fucking expect better or don’t give him the time of day (let alone a blow job). Find a man where you know how he feels because he tells you/shows you, where he treats you with respect and holds your hand for the sake of affection rather than “See, I washed today people!”, where his jokes actually make you laugh rather than cry and for fuck’s sake…when you find him then DO NOT lay awake wondering who he thinks about when he’s masturbating. Get cracking on your own solo activities!

Oh and HEY, guess what? You can choose the GENDER of your partner too. I hate that in responding to CLEO/COSMO crap *my* posts end up being either heteronormative in the attempt to address all the propaganda about men being adorably fucked up, OR making lesbian relationships sound like the second/lesser option for “if you’re sick of men”. Fucking hell. Regardless of who you choose to love/sleep with you don’t HAVE to pine away the way CLEO insists you do, agonising over men, how mean and horrid they are, what their words and actions “mean”, and ways to cope when they make you miserable. Men are not “damaged” or “incapable”, they can fucking take responsibility when they want to and if they don’t, get the hell out. ALSO there’s this whole thing CLEO and Cosmo won’t tell you: You ARE allowed to try relationships with women! YES, even if you’ve never thought about that properly, even if you don’t identify as gay, even if you are not some crap-arsed teen-pop try hard pashing a ‘hot chick’ to give the boys something to toss over. YOU KNOW WHAT? You make your own rules and life is too fucking short to let people make you miserable. BURN YOUR FUCKING CLEOS GIRLS!

Happy Blog-Day To Me!

Yeah, it was a year ago today (well in a couple of hours time) that I put up my first post. It’s been fun. I have had about 7000 hits, which is roughly 20 hits a day, which, considering that I can be a bit slack in posting is pretty cool I think. I wish I had more time to post on more things…but anyway…for now “Happy Blog Day to Me!”

Devine bullshit flows like a river

[This post follows my More Devine Bullshit post]

Miranda Devine is at it again, in her one man band that plays in a never ending cycle on automatic repeat such hits as “The Loonie Lefties”, “Policitical Correctness Gone Mad Mad Mad” and “Feminists Should Be Shot I Hate Those Rabid Communist Babyeating Bitches With A Passion Even Though I Don’t Seem To Have Ever Met One”.

Again it’s about feminists not liking Sarah Palin. This time we’re VIOLENT, UNSAFE, DERANGED, PSYCHOPATHIC…why? Well cos always-a-little-odd attention seeking celebrities have spoken out against Palin.

Sandra Bernhardt (a comedian, I have no idea of her status as a card carrying member of DA FEMINISM or otherwise) is alleged to have made a gang rape comment. Ok, holy shit. Bernhardt says “did not”, Devine says “did so”. I say “Huh???”. Since when did Bernhardt speak for feminists?

Even if she calls herself a feminist, even if she’s spent years acting out feminist principles, while feminists are not of one mind, I can safely say that Feminism Does Not Find Gang Rape Funny. Ever. So maybe she said it maybe she didn’t. But a/ does SHE say she’s a feminist, b/ does she perhaps have some problems as the quote in Devine’s piece indicates, c/ if she said it does that reflect on feminism in any way since feminists continually remind people that no joke/analogy around rape is ok. Um…next?

Oh, right Pamela Anderson. I could see why you’d hit us hard with that one, she’s been SUCH a champion of women’s rights, such a model to our daughters of the power of women and a thorn in the side of patriarchy. She may be a lovely and intelligent human being for all I know, but seriously? On WHAT grounds can you with a straight face say PAMELA ANDERSON, star of Baywatch, owner of spectacularly and unselfconsciously FAKE FAKE FAKE breasts, constant seeker of the patriarchal spotlight and approval, returning to her deadbeat violent prick of a husband, making strange, unpredictable and vapid remarks to anyone who will listen and who has found her high horse in regards to vegetarianism and losing her shit when encountering a random chicken eater is someone whose views feminists should be held accountable for? NEXT.

Lindsay Lohan? Sporadically talented teenage actress battling the pressures of fame and substance abuse, erratic behaviour, completely unpredictable, and yes, I hear she has a blog with a vague (if somewhat *eclectic* and confused approach to being political and left wing) political bent…but really? Miranda? You’re using HER as an example because she’s got a girlfriend now, let’s be honest. Is that not a little…presumptive? She enjoys sex with a woman, therefore all feminists everywhere back her every viewpoint, her entire world view?

Madonna, of the Used To Be Transgressive, Now Mostly Just Rich and Religious fame…

Cathy Lette, who has her moments, but is fond of recycling her own tortured puns…I think if Devine did the slightest homework she’d find that Lette has used the “Kept her bra and burnt her brain” trope about a billion times before. And it’s hardly the sexual violence she accuses feminists of is it?

Naomi Wolf…whatever. She’s written some stuff. I haven’t bothered reading much of it. Although she’s a published author who identifies as a feminist, you’ll find there are many – she’s still not Our Leader.And where’s the example of this alleged sexual violence as coming from Wolf anyway?

OK, I had not heard of VPILP (VP I’d like to Punch) before, which, though in poor taste is a piss-take of VPILF (VP I’d like to Fuck) which men had up within hours of Palin’s nomination.Apparently “these women” (feminists) think nothing of calling Palin VPILP. No citation there Miranda…not sure WHO SAID IT, WHO SUPPORTED it, but you just can’t tar us all with that when you don’t so much as attribute that quote to anyone.

Miranda really loses her shit in the last couple of paras on the first page, and the first couple on the second. They’re totally not worth engaging in.

But this:

There is much more than high school angst to Palin hatred. Her ideology is 180 degrees wrong – evangelical Christian, hunting, oil-drilling and, most important of all, anti-abortion.

My GOOD GOD. Devine wrote a sentence where she got the fucking point. Well she wrote a sentence that reflected reality anyway, while still *wildly missing the point since she seems to think that feminists having a problem with her ideology is damning condemnation*. Many feminists have a problem with an evangelical Christian woman who is vehemently anti-abortion. I have a problem with anti-abortion evangelical Christians wanting to run the world according to their religious beleifs, and denying women and girls the right to choose when they will reproduce. YES MIRANDA, it IS more than high school angst. It is EXACTLY that her ideology is 180 degrees wrong. That’s why I don’t support her just cause we both have mammary glands.

My GOD how DO I live with myself?

SMH “write” with an overuse of “scare quotes” according to their purposes

There’s been plenty of chat over at Hoyden and linked to here previously regarding the passive voice in the reports of rape when the victim is a woman, and the effect of using the passive voice (ie/ the impression that women ‘get’ raped, it’s just something that happens to them etc).

Check out this article then. The title? U.S Serviceman in Cross ‘assault’ claim. Now…if we’re wanting to make the point that thus far it’s an allegation, the old ‘innocent until proven guilty’ biz, well claim covered that really didn’t it? So…use EITHER claim, OR ‘assault’, not both. Though really even without the doubling up here of doubt, ‘assault’ signifies more as a show of doubt don’t you think? Putting ‘assault’ in scare quotes, particularly following locating it as happening in the Cross makes it sound like you’re raising an eyebrow, like ‘Yeah, right, “assault“, like the serviceman is lying here and not the sex worker’.

Then the first line: The US consulate has confirmed that a US serviceman has been questioned over an “incident”.

Um…well, if the consulate has confirmed the serviceman has been questioned over an incident? Then it’s an incident, not an “incident”.

Next sentence:

Police say they are investigating an alleged assault involving a prostitute in Sydney

Well I guess if they say they are then they are right? Like as in they confirmed it. Ok, alleged assault might be fair if not in company with the rest of this crap, however how’s about

Police confirmed they are investigating the allegation that a US serviceman raped woman in Sydney.

Police confirmed today that a US serviceman is being investigated after allegations that the serviceman raped a woman in Sydney.

It’s hard not to see the reference to the woman being a prostitute as being another way to cast doubt upon her story – also??? How is that something that just *is* established fact when it seems we need to hypothesise and use scare quotes for everything else?

I’m not suggesting we start to assume guilt immediately. I’m suggesting that claim adequately covers the fact it’s a claim, I’m suggesting that the scare quotes for “incident” were unneccessary, and the continual use of linguistic markers of doubt is ludicrous.

The contrast between this and the second incident reported is startling. This time there was an incident not an “incident”. This time a Marine was punched in the face, and he was left with injuries which the article detailed.

Is it possible that the woman in question in the first incident sustained injuries? Might it have been reported that:

A Marine is under investigation, police confirmed after a suspected rape in Sydney. The woman was taken from the scene for medical treatment following an incident in which it is alleged that the Marine raped the woman.

Ok. I’m tired, and that’s my first crack at writing it in a way which doesn’t make it sound like a load of codswollop – that doesn’t make it sound like “Hey, who’re you gonna believe? A Marine of a prostitute?”. The article finishes with this quote about the visiting Marines:

“You’ll find that they’re lions in time of war and lambs in time of peace. So, hopefully, they’ll get along with everybody,” Colonel Brian Beaudreault told the media on Friday.

I…clearly they did NOT get on with everyone if someone is alleging rape. And what is that a nice wrap up? To ensure we don’t miss the point: that we have one alleged, supposed, “incident” (well so says a prostitute) where a sex worker in the Cross if you please accuses the little lamb, and another incident where some bastard attacks a poor defenceless lamb?

The bizarre mind of Paul Sheehan

So the Sheehan article I wrote about in my last post: ready to discuss it a little more calmly now.

I really do hate trying to write about my problems with writers like Sheehan, it seems to take forever to untangle their warped logic, and all the problems with it.

My first problem is the opening paragraph. The article is ostensibly about a new movie and a new book in which two women describe their adolescent/preadolescent sexuality. Sheehan takes a complex subject and opens with a paragraph written like a teaser for a porn mag article.

She’s young, she’s had orgasms, she has lots, she’s hot, she’s made out with a boy and stripped off for an adult male. PHWOAR!!!

He then dismisses objections to the movie as stemming from “the oppressive sensibilities of the cultural thought police”. FFS. I’m no advocate of censorship, but I fail to see how concern with a movie depicting the sexuality of a 13 year old (at least the way he’s depicted it) is by necessity an ‘oppressive sensibility’ . But since I know nothing of the movie, nor of the objections (of which I’m sure a great many were ludicrous) I had better move on.

So Sheehan moves onto coverage of the Henson debates. Nothing very enlightening in that section.

I can’t help feeling, having read more of Sheehan’s articles (in particular his notion that Islamic men are terrible to their women, whereas over here we live in a Feminist Paradise, where white women gleefully ignore the plight of their oppressed sisters, which he dutifully spanks us for, while simultaneously doing jack shit over himself) that he’s enjoying slipping in that her father who beat her was Middle Eastern.

He then goes on to Diablo Cody’s memoir describing her teenage desire to be eroticised, to be displayed and desired, to play into the porn ’slut’  image and all its power.Rather than stop and engage with this and why it might be he bounces on in order to prove that this is all fairly normal since chicks actually masturbate (OMG) and often, when they do, the fantasize about taking up the roles assigned to them and being a stripper/sex worker.

It scares me, this. A woman describing her own experiences of her adolescent sexuality is one thing. I imagine that there is an acknowlegement of the power/fear dynamic, of the complexities, the pressures, the confusion, the heady sense of worlds opening up and closing.Regardless of whether there is or there isn’t, these women are telling their own stories, making their own points, using their own voices.

But an adult male utilising the bare bones outlines of these two stories to prop up his article is gross and disturbing. Whatever their sexuality is, it is not his, even when the stories are of sharing their sexuality with others at a young age. Not having seen the movie or read the book I can’t comment too far, except that he reduces both women’s stories to bullet points to back up claims (though what those claims are is, as ever, unclear).

He’s not a psychologist, not a sociologist, not a literature/film expert, not someone who knows these women, he’s an old white dude who thinks he knows everything and can bang on about how people should live USING these real life experiences of others, of young, emerging women, to make a point (though what point is unclear, however it seems to be roughly, stop stressing about sexualising the kids you rampant thought cops, and wow, because two women wrote stories, and I read a survey I can assert that women ARE deviant, and girls ARE horny and hot for adult cock way early, porn is on the right track, W00T, but oh the kids after all, bad single mums, perverts are cool).

Then he really seems to fall off the deep end a bit. The stuff about the internet is all over the place, and falls into the old binary logic of either/or: EITHER the net is a paradise for perverts, OR it’s a mirror of our society. Hmm. Both perchance and many other things as well?

Maybe instead of just trotting out the facts that a stack of kids get their info on sex from online porn as underscoring allegations of perversity and sexual activity, we could look at whether these kids go look it up because the info they get is inadequate? Or because their folks are too embarrassed to discuss it explicitly? Or because they’re fascinated by the lure it holds for others and wanna see what the fuss is about? I’m no fan of the messages about gender that porn sends, but as usual it’s a little more complex than Sheehan makes it sound.

Also? He goes from the fact that the book and the movie draw out the fact that there is massive public demand for the images of as he so charmingly and unnecessarily describes it “the “barely legal” horny teenage girl” (Conveniently ignoring the equally high demand for the NOT legal teenage girl) STRAIGHT into girls are becoming more knowing earlier thanks to the internet. Is it just me or did he slip from ‘ it’s well known that men get off on an idea of having sex with an extremely young girl’ seamlessly into ‘kids are sexually knowledgeable’ as if the latter is as serious as the former, or indeed as if the latter feeds the former?

Knowledge is power, not a problem.If we arm our kids with proper information and knowledge about sex and bodies then they don’t need to go to the net for their research. They may still out of curiosity, and you know…that happens. I hate the ideas about gender and sex they may absorb while there, I hate the lessens about life they learn (that people will fantasize about all manner of fucked up shit), but again, knowledge is power. If they explore the net with knowledge about their bodies, with knowledge about sex, with knowledge about the fact that there are people who prey on youth, with the knowledge they can discuss with you whatever they see – well then the net is a lot less scary. So to equate knowledge with a flag that a kid is ‘too sexual for their own good’  or is now fair game in the hunt for sex? WRONG.

The problem is not that kids are knowledgeable, the problem is adults are desiring sex with people not yet adults, and massive numbers of porn sites are catering to this quick as you please. The problem is that we have such fucked up ideas about sexuality and ‘innocence/sexuality’  that men feel entitled to the bodies not just of women, but of girls.

The problem is that there is incredible *power* given to the images of teen/pre-teen bodies when pornified, and that kids absorb these ideas and it’s confusing/empowering/scary/heady all at once to discover you’re in possession of a body which holds *power* as a sexual object, as a site of desire. I say *power* because the “power” doesn’t appear to be *given* to the bodies, to the individuals, it’s just a powerful image in terms of the number of hits it can get a website/the power it holds over the phallus (which demanded it in the first place). Whatever power it contains for the agent it’s always limited, always already dying: it’s a temporal power by definition. Its power lies in the fact that no-one can develop their notion of their sexuality *outside* of its pressure. Ugh.

What’s bothering me here is that there’s all this stuff to discuss and it just slips away as he marches to his own beat – there is power in the notion of becoming a public figure of sexual objectification. It is thrilling as a teenager.

However I’m pretty sure both Cody’s book and Towelhead the movie would delve with an eye for the complexity of this situation, an attempt to explore the power/fear, the connections to larger issues, both of the protagonists of the stories, and to society at large.

Sheehan takes the two stories and some stats on fantasy and porn use and tells us really not very much at all. He seems to condone the image of the ‘horny teenage girl’ as a valid focus of sexual desire, then lament the lapsing of societal standards. He slips into ‘a generation ago’  stuff, and then, HUH? We’re at the end and he’s run out of space, and where it seemed to just be a ‘neutral observation’ it’s now a problem, but STOP!

It’s not the problem of the dudes wanking over kids, or the porn sites catering to them, or that stuff luring kids in or the ideas that sets up for men that just cos a girl is sexually curious, it’s ok for them to sleep with her – oh no. The problem is debt, and capitalism, and simultaneously (??) two income families and single parent households (way to have a bet each way Paul) and a coursening public domain. Yours is a strange, strange mind Paul Sheehan.

Oh, boy, there’s a rant a-comin’!

If you’re really in the mood to get so angry your head might explode, then I suggest you read THIS GREAT STEAMING HEAP OF SHIT written by Paul Sheehan. I *do* LOVE to start the morning with a disturbingly miss-the-point and still very patriarchal sexual descriptor of a sexually active (but still likable to Sheehan – oh thank goodness!) thirteen year old from a pudgy, middle aged, condescending, hysteria-wringing hack op-ed journo, but as stomach turning as that is it gets worse. No time for a full post right now, but watch out for such gems as:

it was renamed Nothing Is Private to appease the oppressive sensibilities of the cultural thought police.

Also, the random *conclusion* (a tacked on and unrelated sentence or two at the end):

Frankly, it is our culture saturated with debt, consumerism, two-income families, one-parent households and a coarsening public domain that has done more to truncate the innocence of youth than random perverts, a reality we have barely begun to acknowledge.

WHAT??????????????

And this:

What links Candy Girl and Towelhead is their depiction of the widespread sexual demand for very young women. By far the fantasy role that Busey-Hunt/Cody encountered a huge demand for was the “barely legal” horny teenage girl. Out in the real world, teenagers are becoming more knowing much earlier, thanks to the internet.

Ok…did he just go from there’s a demand, to this girl wanted to play with that, to well hey, men wanting sex with ‘barely legal’ horny teenage girls is ok? And let’s be honest, I think that was a nice little sleight of hand on Sheehan’s part there, since there is a MASSIVE market demand for porn dealing in the ‘pre-teen sluts’ ouvre. So what? That’s ok now? Because a couple of girls are honest about their desires which DIDN’T COME FROM NOWHERE and are a product of the society they were born into in which what is prized beyond all as the ultimate sexual fantasy is the pre-adolescent body and the notion of the corruption of innocence.

I’m SO FUCKING GLAD to know that I, as a single parent am doing far more to corrupt and pervert the youth of today than say internet porn and seedy fucking old men who should learn to wank over people their own age – or alternately shoot themselves in the head.